You !!!

From your side its all over , I have also make up my mind that I wont have you,I tried a lot ,its not lyk that I dont want to try anymore , but the thing is you're getting disturbed by my tries.

Though I wanted to disturb you, I wanted to make you think of me ,like I used to do always.
But then you make me talk to some second person ,who insulted me & you kept quiet ,it doesn't bothered you.

That day I just wanted to tell you that I have bought a new car , I wanted to share the news with you ,like I have always did.

All these days ,I have tried alot to run away from you ,but I cant escape from you ,I tried hanging out with two girls ,it dint worked out ,at the end of the day ,you are there on my mind ,you were always there ,you always will.

But now I understand I will never have you ,nor I will contact you , I saw ur 'pics ,you looked happy ,you gained some weight,gorgeous as always,
 I still love you .

I just want to know from you is , ain't true love ,innocence & deep care enough for you ,what else you want ,just let me know I will arrange the same ,just need you back in my lyf.
Just "YOU".

A Thursday- Phone Call

On a usual Thursday, I gave her a buzz ,

She :- hello Kon ?
Me:- hi ....Kaisi Ho ?

She :- disconnected !!!

I called up again , this time after a long ring ,some other girl  picked up who introduced herself as her elder sister.

Elder Sister :- Hello whose this ?

Me :- Deepak ,  You ...?

Elder Sister :- No, I am her elder sister, aap ki problem kya hai...??

Me :- what ???

Elder Sister :- aapki problem kya hai...? Tumhari koi self respect hai ya nahi , jab ek baar ek ladki ne mana kar diya , kyun baar baar fon kar rahe ho, kyun nai nai Id's se mail kar rahe ho, I have read all your emails & i know everything about you . Agar tumne dobaara phone kiya , we will give all your details to police .

Me :- See, I have not call to argue with you , I need to talk to her , Please give the phone to her .

Elder Sister :- I am not giving phone to her , jo bolna hai mujhe bolo , tumhe koi ladki nahi mili 5 saal me ???

Me :- aap kaisi baatein kar rahi hai...? & and what type of question is this aapko or  koi ladki nahi mili ...See I am not at all interested in talking to you , I need to talk to her , so please give the phone to her

Elder Sister :- I am not giving phone to her , & from future onwards , if you will call ,i will only answer , so please dont call again !!

Me :- ** Silence **

Elder Sister :- **Disconnected **

Before Calling Her 

Before calling her , I was in Agra , happy to join my duty back after the Accident , I was so confused about making the decision regarding job opportunity in Oman , I needed some friendly advice , whoz more friendly than her , shez the one who inspired me , shez the one with whom's invisible motivation i progressed , She happens to be my strength , I believed i can do anything , when shez around.

So i thought lets forget everything what happened in the past ,let bygones be bygones.
So i called up.


After Calling Her :-

After calling her , I felt humiliated , her elder sister was right , I have lost & put down my self respect , that was just to get in touch with her, I love her so much , I have no ego to fight for , to get in touch with her.

I got insulted , that was the foremost kind of insult i have faced from a girl ,

& To her elder Sister :- Dear I fear no police , no military ,you just dont know me enough , that you have claimed over phone.
& about your pathetic question ;- Tumhe or koi ladki nahi mili ?

My answer is :- Ladkiya toh boht mili, but no one was like her , no one compared to her , i dont know whether you're in a relationship with anyone , but as you said you're her elder sister , i respect you a lot that way , but you know nothing about love , I love her , & when you're in love with someone,every other girl & beauty fades away ,you just ignore everyone else & concentrate on a single person whom you're in love with.

You did a great job being an elder sister , I did that many times when someone used to call my female friends & my sisters , believe me i am an elder brother too , i have two younger sisters .


But what you did ,definitely made me think , about the life without her , i had never thought about that, since i saw her first time till the time i spoke to you, & I am no Psycho ,who will keep on stalking & do crazy things.

You won !!!

An Open Letter To The Girl Who Let The Nice Guy Go

I’ve seen it happen way too many times: The nice guy loses the girl for being exactly who he is.

What’s even worse is if he’s really the nice guy, he’s going to lose her and say nothing about it. He’ll accept it as something she truly wants and give her his best wishes, as she walks away being everything he could ever want.

On behalf of all the nice guys out there, this is to the girl who walked out on the best thing that ever happened to her:

---

Dear Girl Who Walked Away,

It’s not like you weren’t aware of what you were getting yourself into. He told you he was nice. He trusted easily and gave you all he could when he could.

The nice guy believes in doing things right. He was there when you needed him to be, and he went out of his way to make sure you knew just how much you could mean to someone.

We live in a generation where we all have to wear masks and play parts to make it through the battlefield of dating in the 21st century. There is no such thing as giving it your all.

We like quotes on Facebook and post things on Instagram stating we want the masochist one day and the romantic the next. We play these games where being available can only happen sometimes, and playing hard-to-get must be our number one priority. Why?

I thought the ultimate goal was to eventually settle down. I mean, what is the point of dating if you have no desire for it to go anywhere? If a one-night stand is what you’re looking for, leave the good guys alone and toy within the levels you lay down.

Save yourself time and energy because the good guy isn’t going to make it easy to just walk away. The good guy cares, so he’ll get his explanation from you even though he knows it’ll be a load of bull.

Every girl says she likes the assh*le because he’s the challenge — the one she must break, train and force to be more than just a douchebag. Have you ever thought, however, maybe you were the girl in need of learning what it means to actually feel again?

You went through something, like we all do, and because of it you changed. It’s normal and heartbreak happens, but the next assh*le didn’t fix what the first one did; he kept it the same or made it worse. His priority was not you and couldn’t be you. So now you’re bitter and closed off from anything remotely more satisfying than a one-night stand.

I won’t deny that the assh*le is fun or that a good time isn’t promised with him, but when it’s all said and done, is it ever more than just a good time? Probably not.

In fact, the assh*le has a charm about him; it’s the charm you justify your pursuit with. You say, “There’s just something about him.” However, it’s probably the same quality that ended up hurting you in the past.

So you tried to push the nice guy away. When he wouldn’t go away, you pushed harder. Still, he didn’t give up and every time you pushed harder, he pulled you in even more.

He ignored your fears and forced you to grow; he fought for your passions when you were too busy writing them off. He forgot your wants and focused on everything you needed. Then you walked away because he was too nice.

He gave you too much of everything you wanted, and life got too easy. You wanted conflict and hardship as if everything else in life did not promise you an endless journey of just that. This is where you failed.

The nice guy has been hurt, too, he just chose to stay nice. He learned that different people were going to provide him different things in life. The nice guy also chose not to let any of it change who he was.

So, he let you walk away and he called it a day. Everyone always says there are plenty of fish in the sea, and he let you go knowing this, even though it hurt.

What you don’t know is that someone else is out there, and she won’t be as foolish you. When you realize all you really want is the nice guy who cares about you too much, it’s going to be too late. Some other girl will be able to see how great he is, and she won’t waste a minute.

So you lost your Ted Mosby and, I promise, to him you were Robin. The nice guys are there to give you a break, a light to something more than the games we identify our generation with.

He may have loved you too soon and it was too crazy and too much, but guys like Mosby don’t happen every day; they happen never. He got you the blue French horn, and he made you feel love when love was no longer a part of your vocabulary. You were now saying “I love you” again and remembering what it felt like.

He was the guy you were supposed to end up with, who makes everything change. I just wish you’d see it before another girl does because at the end of the day, everyone, including the nice guy you don’t deserve, is rooting only for you.

Courtesy :- Elitedaily.com

End of the Day !!!

In everyone's life , there is always someone ,for whom we're ready to put everything of ours on stake ,it might be for your family or your better half. Without even thinking that whether that person respects your this utmost kind of respect & love or not , but we still do it , we're  bounded by our own thoughts & perceptions . We plan , formulate & do our best to make that someone happy.
Love is blind ,this is a true statement, i have been through this phase , you wont believe it , you do things ,you would have never imagined , you will find yourself totally engulfed with the feelings & thoughts of your that special someone.
You care , you think , you get worried , & you give respect ... but the Question is that , '' Are they reciprocating the same feelings for you ?"

This is the question you should ask to yourself, when you love someone so much & care for them .
Best way to stay unbroken.

The feeling of one sided care & affection , is so hurtful ... when you devote all your time ,all your energy to please one special someone  & in return ,they just ignore you , or treat you with the least importance.

So you should maintain a decorum , you should make others feel you're important to them.
My learning from my personal experience "

""How can you expect that someone to miss you , when you're always available to them .""

People always seek for new & better opportunities , dont be surprised , if you're being replaced like that .
you wont even  have a hunch , & your life be doomed .
All you have to do is to be alert , all the time , dont be a fool in love , maintain your dignity , see your priorities , when they can do it ,why cant you.

At the end of the day what everybody want is a secure future , where they can spend their lyf ,with full comfort doing nothing .
so the only choice to make that someone connected or dependent on you , you have to be capable enough to give support & comfort.
At the end of the day this is what really matters ,the feelings & love are just secondary , metaphysical things have lost values , priorities have changed , Money is that matters.

At the end of the day !!!

I Want to Know You- An Urge

Over all this time ,you've been thinking ,why the hell he's after me...?? :P Here's the answer for all yo'r questions, that what i've been upto...? 

All those scampy things & acts ...were just only because...

I Want To Know You 

I want to know you. You seem like someone worth knowing. Every day I feel like I’m surrounded by people with hard edges and sour faces but I get the sense that you’re different. Too often people seem to think that they have the answers to everything. Their faces are trapped in permascowls and they can’t be bothered with anything besides their own narcissism. You aren’t like that. You still ask questions. You’re still looking for the answers.

I want to know how your weekend was (I never want to know these types of things but you’re the exception to all my rules) and I want to know how you got that scar on your knee (biking accident when you were twelve? Tell me more! This story is more riveting than The Hunger Games!) and I want to know about your mom and dad(your whole family) , I want to protect you. I want to preserve your innocence and drink it up for myself. You learn from me and I’ll learn from you. Deal?

I know all of these things seems stupid,but I have wasted my life's precious four years just sitting

 down on the bench & now I don't want to waste a single second . I want to know about all of your friends,about all the pranks you did together. I want to know what you think of me as a person, I want to know each & everything that's roams around you.

In order for all of this to work though, you have to let me know you. You have to let me cut you open and trust that I won’t accidentally hit a nerve. You have to accept me for my shortcomings and understand that you’re a better person than I am. I'm a little rotten. Please don’t let that deter you though. Because when I look at you, I see someone who makes sense. I see an anomaly — someone who’s untouched by all of the modern inventions and hang ups. I see someone I want to know.

The Changed You , The Changed Me !!!

Our love story started long before She and I ever actually met.
And when you think about it, most love stories start that way. Every moment leading up to the one in which you meet your future soul mate somehow shapes you and prepares you for that person you were fated for. Any previous heartbreaks or dark days or lonely nights can be crucially important in the grand scheme of things—sometimes we need to know what something feels like when it’s wrong before we can ever really know it when another thing is RIGHT.
Any ways , she will never admit ,she loved me, or may be she is right that way , or may be it's just a one sided love...god Knows....!!
I dont know, what really changed her, her perception towards me......still dont have a hunch.
8 months ago from now on ,when she was at her hometown, very far away from this messy & polluted area , she was at her best , the memories of those days , are still just the same.
The care , the love ,the curiosity to know each other, discussing daily routine, the small fights over nothing.
I dont know what really changed her , there are so many things roaming in my head
May be i did something, that made her change her mind
or may be she has got an option better than me.
I dont know !!! but what i observed is, she changed me completely .
I am a different man now , when i compare myself with who i was a year back ,i feel proud.
she taught me alot.
She got the job , she came to Gurgaon , things were good in the starting , at some point ,she was at her best, but then suddenly things started changing .
I still wonder, does the priorities of people changes with the rise in their standard of living & rise in status.
I dont know , I did every thing what i could have done, to save it, whatever it was between us.
I now, fear to get into relationship, to rely on anyone , i dont tell my problems to anyone now, because i know no one doesnt really care.
For a person like me, love happens a single time in life,I never cared about any other girl like that, never been attached to anyone like that . 
And In spite of the fact , that i have been insulted , thrown out of her life , i dont know but apart of me still hopes to get her back in my life , This may be because of the changes she brought into me or may be cuz of my fear to engaged with someone else , cuz i cant even picture myself with any other girl.
its not like that, that she didnt knew my intentions, she have always known that i love her.
Its only my badluck that i wont make her fall in love with me & on the other hand its me who loves everything about her.
From my childhood I have learnt Change is the need of time , change is always good , but this change aint good for nothing, I can put anything on stake to rollback that change, the change that caused differences between us.

"She" - An achievement

I feel lucky  to know her, once it was just a dream,to know her to talk to her,to make her laugh & to fight with her over lil things.

I feel that it is my biggest achievement to let her know that I love her.
I have tried & wasted my four -five years just to try to let  her know that I am deeply & madly in love with her.

I never used to believe in love at first sight but my perception changed when I saw her, I got curious to know about her.
the feelings & emotions , the respect , the attachment & the care that I sensed after knowing her , I dont have words to pen it down, ,that time was just amazing , it was one of a life time experience.
 I learnt a lot , she gave me support, always motivated me , when I was feeling low... things were really good , when she was around...I was feeling accomplished. ...what more would I had asked from life...when I had her.

Achievement to know her in person, to know her family, & to tell her about mine , to discuss metaphysical things

I still have the memories of her generous laughs , her gossips....I might have achieved a lot in my professional life ,but in my personal lyf I will always be scarce, scarce of her.

You !!!

Fighting each day with myself, not to talk to you ....not to write to you.

I want to talk to you... still I hear echoes of your laugh... still your.... "ho gaya...? "
"Haha ....very funny "... "mtlb ki"

Makes me think of you... !!!
Still when I am travelling by metro ....my eyes searches for you...thinking may be someday again I"ll go lucky again to see you...my eyes searches the people's faces on road for you ,every time I am in Gurgaon !!!

Missing my inspiration....my drive force....which motivated me to work...to innvovate !!!

I thought wid tym the feeling for you will fade away...I tried moving on....its been 3 months...but nothing changed ...except that we dont talk anymore.

Still....everyday I put your number on dialling screen...but cancelled the dialling... still your words
"I dont feel happy talking to you" **pinches me**
This is the only thing , holding me back to not to talk to you...
I dont know ....how to deal with  it....but everyday you're the first thing that comes up in my mind & last before I goes to sleep.

" I don't know where I stand with you, nor do I know what I mean to you. All I know is that every time I think of you, I want to be with you."

"My Fairy" - A conversation

Me : I know you since my childhood.

She : ho gaya ?

Me : sahi me...!  Bachpan se hi meri dadi mujhe pariyo ki kahani sunaati thi !!! So I grown up hearing stories of you.

She : kon si movie se churaya ?

Me : does it really matters ?

She : **Speechless** , **Topic Changed**

A lonely Thursday !!!

I dont know but today I am missing her a lot....I dont know what so special , its a normal Thursday lyk every week  , full of work...her thoughts. ...*sighs*

I still remember, she used to say " every misunderstanding between her & me , clears out on Thursdays. ...her belief in Thursdays, was so strong....belief in SAI....
* Om Sai Ram*
& I believed in everything she used to believe, I started going to SAI temple...just nearby to my staY in Vasant Kunj....I always used to pray about her...as I was happy wid everything I had, I was just scarce of her....she told me once, she is talking to me cuz of SAI...since then my belief in SAI got stronger & stronger....
I used to pray , "I want to meet her"....every week that was my agenda of going to temple & still its the same....nothing changed!!!

Every now & then this is it what I have always wanted , I wanted to meet her...its not lyk that I was so eager to date her or to go on long drives....I just wanted to meet her....just to hold her hand in mine....& just stare into her eyes....we never made eyes contacts for more than 5-10 secs...I love her deep brown  gorgeous eyes.

i dint say I love you , to hear back "I Love you too" from her side...i just wanted to make sure she knew...thats it.

I feel lyk just to be wid her all day long...just to make her happy...to laugh wid her.....to tell things I always wanted to tell her, which I wasn't able to pen down...

& finally i met her one day,....all my prayers paid ...I met her in Delhi metro....I thanked God for making my wish come true...those 15 -16 mins were just magical....I felt heavenly....although we dint spoke ...I heard her laughing....she looked happy....gorgeous as always.

Ironically , we met  a week after she disconnected completely from me...I know , it might be somewhat embarrasing moments for her...but that incident left me with something to remember for a lifetime.

*gasps*
Hmmm...this Thursday I am in Aligarh , lying lonely in a hotel room thinking of her....listening to her songs....
& thinking if she is missing me too...or it is just an another usual Thursday.

Aint it Enough ?

Instead of letting yourself being consumed by the agony of unfulfilled love and by misery, you should be thankful and consider yourself lucky because the wonderful thing is you have eventually met someone with whom you are profoundly, genuinely and invariably in love. That’s enough, isn’t it?

"Moments"

I am not able to forget the moments that we spend together talking...the things you told me...the things I've done for you...the things you shared with me....I feel lucky ,I came to know you.
The Moment you shared your parents picture...that very moment ,you dont know how much emotional I got...at that time finally I was convinced that you trust me alot ...I was so happy...i told you , your mother's so gorgeous just like you... & you told me , that you took after your buwa ji...
I still remember each & every little talk we had...
& by sharing your childhood pictures....you left me speechless...I wouldnt have expected that much...I dont know what was in your mind that day....but you were at your best...the "very you " I used to know...just amazing.

The "Moment" you called by yourself to talk to lavi  , I was overjoyed. ....I miss those "moments"....moreover I miss you .

Random Feelings !!!

Woke up ,half an hour early ,before the alarm tym ...
Again the thoughts of you ,engulfs my mind , just staring at pictures of you....all the tym....when I have this kind of  feelings....this is the most I can do....
Everyday I have fight with myself not to talk to you... I am a person of high ego....but some tym I feel lyk crossing all the limits & boundaries just to be with you....
Your presence in lyf was a boon ....now I have just the memories of it....

The most difficult decision in life is to decide whether to try hard or to move on.

Story Of my life !!!

It was a usual day.....I was roaming around with my Cousin....My Cousin  ,she's Lecturer in my College for MBA Department ,she was helping me with my admission process in B.Tech....then we came out of the admin. block after submitting the fees, completing all the formalities...then coming outside ,I saw some gals passing by...simple ,long looks,lil chubby yet ultra-gorgeous....that was the First time I saw her... days passed ,college started for me as i took a late admission....i got familiar with the atmosphere, local crowd of college ,my classmates...I was more with the Hostelers as I recently came from chandigarh...I loved independent hostel life....so I used to spend whole of my day either in Hostel or in College....then again on my way I saw that gal....this time alone...so gorgeous...I have been to chandigarh...I have seen gals from all over North there....but nothing compared to her....I felt some connection....I gave her a look ....eyes met....she looked the other-way ... she got my heart with that very simple gestures & innocency of her.

days passed ,years passed...i used to cross her way, she never noticed...i used to visit her class, but i dont know whether she noticed or not...so many bike chases of her going to market with her friends....bunking classes seeing her going out from window....at nirmal or Shri Ram....giving my lunch to hostelers just to see her during lunch in college mess ... & so many foolish things just to let her know...that i love her.

but finally on 23 November(she told me the date later on ) ...i followed her to market with my friends.... with things in my mind that its already 3rd year and in one more year she will be gone... with lots of courage ,so much of  motivation from my buddies... i finally entered the sweet shop ...she was sitting there with her friend...i gave her " I think You're cute " quote....& I tried saying ...howz you....but that thing stuck in my throat....i was shivering like....being dumped in -50 degrees...she said NO... i dont know , with what in my mind i said sorry & left the sweet shop...leaving all the workers in the sweet shop looking at me,with curiosity.
i came out....my buddies asked what happened ...what did you said....i said , NOTHING....we went to mandir sat there for a while....i told them lets go...i will do it...lets go to her again....we reached that sweet shop...she was not there....we found torn pieces of my quote....i lift them up...with sad face....we went inside the sweet shop...& ordered gulab jamun...to celebrate my first step towards her.

in final year i started writing to her on Facebook....she replied....i was overjoyed...that year for the first time i wished her on her b'day &  was really happy to get a reply .

from her side i got to know something like... mechanical guys are like this & that....so i coordinated a skit called  "shareef Badmaash " in our annual fest  to let her know that ...that all guys are not just the same....but my bad-luck she was absent for the fest.

final year....final annual fest....i dint participated cuz i had a marriage to attend that particular day....but i got to know that shez is participating...so i cancelled all my programs...just to have a word with her ...i went to her ...she was standing backstage waiting for her turn...during the fashion show....i said you're looking gorgeous....she looked uneasy,dint said a word....i said again you're looking gorgeous....again silence,this time she ignored,,,i was really embarrassed....i wanted to talk to her...but dont had words what i will be saying to her...i chased her....she dint bothered....i left disappointed...cursing myself, for my loose behavior & not being able to say anything.

College got over ,i thought i would forget her, but i wasn't able to... i tried lot....i started writing mails to her about my job,,,,about the happenings in my life....once in awhile she used to reply...& then everything stopped...i got no reply from her side for so long , i thought of moving on...to come out of my fantasy world....& believe thats shez gone .
then suddenly on 3rd Jan 2011( 2nd jan she had a backlog exam for her first sem Maths)  , she replied with a e-mail ,that why she dint replied & her Maths exam preparation ,her life in her city & many things, i was on cloud 9 that day , i felt like "just awesome"

then the series of regular mails started , i got to know her, i found her to be the most wonderful girl i have ever known, i liked her simplicity ,her innocence , the way she will tell where you're wrong & the same time not making you feel bad about it.
I am feeling blessed to know her , to meet her !!!

Emails converted to facebook chat & Gtalk .... & then to Phonecalls & Whatsapp.

She got the job the in Gurgaon ,... i thanked god, for making things good in my life, i was so happy....i thought of gifting her something....to congratulate & make her feel good....i gifted her a teddy bear .... i thought she will be happy seeing a gift from me.....but....her words " we hardly know each other ,& you are sending me a gifting " really turned me down....i thought may be i's wrong....may be i's going way too fast....i apologizes a dozen times....she dint talked to me for more than a month cuz of that gift thing....then finally it started again with a whats app message from her side .

we started again ....new things ,new talks....but i found out that shez is not happpy with her job...cuz of her night shifts....& we dont get much of the time to spend with each other like we used to do when she was home.
During day time when i used to call her ,either she was sleeping...or she used to pick up with a irritating voice....cuz of less sleep.
i really missed our little talks, her innocent stories.....
i used to  put an alarm for 2:30 AM , just to talk to her.....to spend time with her....i skipped my morning jogging ...to get time for her as she used to come online on whats app around 6 AM.
i made several excuses ,just not to excuse her....she is the one....my inspiration....

i have seen so many girls, i used to meet so many girls...my profession is like this...corporate parties ,girls...exchanging cards ...meeting you...calling you & messaging you....   But at the end of the day  when i think of her....everything else seems ...just bullshit.
i dont know , why i'm like this....the guys in my profession...even if they're not goodlooking ...hav 2-3 GF's ...or have been with so many girls....but i never desired....i never found anyone as beautiful & gorgeous as she is....

she started ignoring  my morning calls....... :(

i dont know may be her new job ... new friends new things.
I was feeling Insecure.

i remember one sunday ,I was in my Hometown.... we  were talking  ........ & i made her talk to my niece lakshita....
we talked about where we're going to take our relationship....she told me that her  parents wont agree  & things like that......i was so happy deep in my mind....
i told her not to worry ,first you agree on this....we will convince your parents....

i thought she is thinking about "US" , the way i used to think every day & every moment.

but then i dont know what happened things went on...she started ignoring calls...limited time.......late whats app replies .

she has friends.....i just had her. !!!

Finally ,I asked her what i am to you....sometime i am a friend ,some time I'm more than a friend & some times I'm just a stranger.
& One unfortunate day....she called & said i dont want to talk to you any more..." I dont feel happy talking to you "
i felt shocked , i asked why ....why what happened ?.....i mean ,i am in so love with you....she said i dont love you.....my parents are looking a guy for me,...& i will be getting married next year....!!!

i dint got much  to say....actually i was not able to think what to say....i was just feeling helpless, how to convince her......i was in emotional trauma .
never felt so helpless. !!!

i cried that night....i dont remember when was the last time i cried before that....cried for a girl...for the girl i loved the most...& she just said GOODBYE...i dont know ,why so ...but  i wasn't convinced with her marriage excuse.

i was so shattered...i took leave for two days from work & went home .... i thought about her ....i thought may be she is genuinely in problem....may be her parents forcing her for marriage....you dont know one;s family situation.
i was so attached to her & her family...i had her parents & her childhood pictures....which she shared with me....ahh...those wonderful days.!!!

With these thoughts in my mind....i called her...to ask her...if your parents are forcing you....i will make my parents talk to your parents ....if you want to.
i was torn into pieces with the words....." i can never thought of marrying you" "i will not marry you".......i was such a fool.
i cursed myself....to be such a fool ....such an idiot....to call her .

After couple of weeks, Early Morning , i had a strange encounter with her in Delhi Metro....she was coming from a friends marriage & i was coming from home.
i was just standing in the metro...thinking of her,...then i heard her laughing...oh...that sound...i still hear the echo of her laughs in my mind...one cant just forget that.
first i thought....."Mere Kaan Bajj rahe hai" but than i turned around....i saw her....standing....i was just amazed....it felt lyk the first time, very first time... the jittery feeling.....the first time i saw her.
i stared at her.....we made eye contacts....i waved Hi....she responded in a puzzled way....i was nervous too....so i looked away...but then i thought....this is the golden opportunity....i have been waiting since so long, i was pleading her to meet me.
& finally shez in front of me.
i should talk to her...but she had her classmate with her.....i doubted may be she has not told him about me....so i don't dared talking to her....i thought she will feel offended....i started talking to her class mate....he recognized me....& we chatted...she was not making any eye contact....i was there with them for like 15mins ....but those were the best moments....i left with a  heavy heart from metro  " Mile bhi toh aise, kuch baat naa ho saki "
i always wanted to meet her to spend time with her....to know how she eats & drinks...to know her more....to see her hand gestures & gait....everything about her.... but i think she always thought , i am asking her for a date .


Madness has no limits....months passed....she has her b'day around christmas... i have planned from so long to do something for her b'day...but as we broke up.......but my desire to do something  dint died....i celebrated her b'day with my friends & sent her the videos with a message....!!
although i mentioned ,i dont want any reply....but i needed the reply.

i thought she will wish me on my b'day ....& we will talk again....but .... !!!

i know i am an Idiot ,who falls in love with an angel... but i am happy as i have the memories of the moments & things we shared with each other... i still love her... & i always will.





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